If you live near the East Coast, you’ve either been seeing
huge rain drops pelting your street or feeling what may be the last official
heat wave of the summer. Needless to say, with my complete disdain for heat AND
humidity in the same place at the same time, I was lucky enough to experience
90 degree temperatures with dew points reaching into the high 60s. Lovely. Walking from the Park Street T stop in Boston
to office on Boylston Street is usually light and fun. This week it left me feeling like I needed a
shower, a trenta iced coffee, and a nap. But for me, that isn’t what I hated
most about the heat. It’s trying to sleep in it without AC.
This may be one of the last times I have to do so as the new
apartment that I am moving into has a wall unit (SCORE!), but it did not change
the fact that I was utterly uncomfortable laying in my bed wearing as little
clothing as possible. All I wanted was that cool spot on the pillow, that one
section of mattress that was still untouched by my heat-radiating body. Alas, I
always ended-up throwing my blanket off in the middle of the night, just so
that my fan could blow a breeze DIRECTLY onto my body. So comfortable…
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Yes, this sleeping pattern seemed all too familiar to me.
Why do you ask? Because not only am I trying so hard to sleep comfortably by moving my foot around the bed, searching for the one thing that will give me releif, but I feel that I am doing the same in life. I
want to live comfortably. I am trying so very hard to become comfortable with
myself. Yet, no matter how hard I try, how hard I try a different approach, I feel like I’m still searching for
that "cold spot in my bed." I’m coming up short, searching for that one thing that
will finally yield a more content and comfortable person.
I know we’re not supposed to have it all figured out by the
age of 24... I’m not delusional. But why is it so hard to get there? I am not
so sure that I like the person I am or who I am becoming, which right now seems
to be a workaholic, exercise/healthy eating fiend who has big dreams, but
limited time to pursue them all…
Don’t get me wrong! It’s fun living on your own, making your
own decisions, truly being independent. But it’s scary too. Part of me still
felt like I was going back to my beloved alma mater this fall. That this last
year was just a year-long internship and that I would move back into a dorm
room with my best friends and have the world at my fingertips. But recently, I
feel like these ideas are slipping away, just like the cool spots from my bed…
So alas, I turn BACK TO THIS BLOG. To share my feelings of
adapting with you, whoever you may be. Maybe your having the same feelings, maybe you have "been there, done that." But bare with me as I figure it out myself.
I will leave you on a happy note,
with my new favorite song that gets me amped for another day! Enjoy!
